Haysley will be 9 months in 9 days, and Avery will be turning 2 in 12 days. As I looked into the bright eyes of my little Haysley Lynn, I feel like she simply said, 'Mommy, we did it'. And I literally wanted to break down and cry, because she was right!
This past year has been the craziest and I hope and pray it is the last. No amount of money would ever convince me to do it over again. Mike and I have been stretched further than I ever thought humanly possible, battling through sleepless nights of worry, stress, and a crying baby...no, not me :)
But it's true, somehow, by God's grace and mercy, we made it through 2011.
Now, I look forward to this year but being careful not to hold too high expectations. Last year my prayer was for patience, constant patience, but this week I have selected my new word, and it's sympathy. This year I have learned not to set expectations on myself, my children, or my husband. And through this God has shone me my next struggle, sympathy. I will continue to prayer for patience, but now with an added dose of understanding.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Airplane
Remember when your kids were babies and you couldn't wait for the 'next phase'? You know, rolling over, crawling, walking, talking, etc... well, can we take one back? Those of you that have children that are 'late bloomers' count your blessings...
Avery already knew what an airplane was, in fact, she was always admat about making sure I shared in her joy each time we were outside and one buzzed overhead. She amazed me with her hearing skills, never missing a one.
So, the other day I decided to be super mom yet again and volunteered to show her what 'airplane' was when you are inside. With sheer delight, she smiled and laughed as she was flung around on my legs for the very first time. Afterwards she happily plopped on my stomach and I lifted her to sit up. She then decided it would be fun to jump up and down on Mommy :) So cute, right?
Well, Mommy has now learned to NEVER show Avery something that you are not ok with doing every moment of every day for the rest of your life!!! That's right, from then on Avery has been constantly asking for 'airplane', and has yet to grasp the concept that Mommy's body is not always available to be her personal juggle gym.
I just tell myself it won't last forever, as I am quite convinced she is growing daily...as I still remember the moments when she was just a little pink blob...sigh. Where has the time gone?
Avery already knew what an airplane was, in fact, she was always admat about making sure I shared in her joy each time we were outside and one buzzed overhead. She amazed me with her hearing skills, never missing a one.
So, the other day I decided to be super mom yet again and volunteered to show her what 'airplane' was when you are inside. With sheer delight, she smiled and laughed as she was flung around on my legs for the very first time. Afterwards she happily plopped on my stomach and I lifted her to sit up. She then decided it would be fun to jump up and down on Mommy :) So cute, right?
Well, Mommy has now learned to NEVER show Avery something that you are not ok with doing every moment of every day for the rest of your life!!! That's right, from then on Avery has been constantly asking for 'airplane', and has yet to grasp the concept that Mommy's body is not always available to be her personal juggle gym.
I just tell myself it won't last forever, as I am quite convinced she is growing daily...as I still remember the moments when she was just a little pink blob...sigh. Where has the time gone?
Monday, September 26, 2011
Five Months ago...
Five months ago today I delivered Haysley into this world. At 2 pounds 14 ounces, she was 10 weeks early and so tiny I could put her in my pocket...not that I really would, but still. As I was craddling her to sleep tonight I was reflecting back on our journey and how we had made it this far. It's crazy...
For starters, try having your life completely change in a matter of hours when you start contracting on Easter Sunday, in church no less. Then being rushed to the hospital only to be transported to another, all in a desparate attempt to keep you and your baby healthy.
Then, try being moved to a 'permenate' room because you've just been told you'll be on bed rest for the next few WEEKS. Nevermind your daughter now napping at home with your husband's boss watching her because you litteraly know no one in this town because you've only lived here for less than a year.
Next, try giving birth your child (with no drugs...which actually wasn't too bad, but still) two days later and learning what the letters NICU actually mean.
Then, try having a newborn baby FINALLY come home when you've already been sleep deprived for 8 weeks because you've be doing double shifts raising a 15 month old little girl and then driving to the hospital to see your second. AND you've been pumping every night.
And, finally then, try having her screaming almost 24/7 for one month until she gets diagnosed with acid reflux, common in preemies.
Wheew!
Reflecting back on it now, it was a lot. But all this to be said, I'm starting to see the silver lining to it all. Haysley is home and she is ours to love. All 9 pounds of her. This week she slept through the night, started cooing, and actually letting other people hold her, giving Mommy a much needed break. It's been a good seven days...I hope it's a trend.
So happy five months, Haysley Lynn. Your Mommy and Daddy do love you very much. We are so blessed to have you in our little family. It's getting hard to see what life would have been like without you. You are and will always be 'Our Little Early Bird'.
For starters, try having your life completely change in a matter of hours when you start contracting on Easter Sunday, in church no less. Then being rushed to the hospital only to be transported to another, all in a desparate attempt to keep you and your baby healthy.
Then, try being moved to a 'permenate' room because you've just been told you'll be on bed rest for the next few WEEKS. Nevermind your daughter now napping at home with your husband's boss watching her because you litteraly know no one in this town because you've only lived here for less than a year.
Next, try giving birth your child (with no drugs...which actually wasn't too bad, but still) two days later and learning what the letters NICU actually mean.
Then, try having a newborn baby FINALLY come home when you've already been sleep deprived for 8 weeks because you've be doing double shifts raising a 15 month old little girl and then driving to the hospital to see your second. AND you've been pumping every night.
And, finally then, try having her screaming almost 24/7 for one month until she gets diagnosed with acid reflux, common in preemies.
Wheew!
Reflecting back on it now, it was a lot. But all this to be said, I'm starting to see the silver lining to it all. Haysley is home and she is ours to love. All 9 pounds of her. This week she slept through the night, started cooing, and actually letting other people hold her, giving Mommy a much needed break. It's been a good seven days...I hope it's a trend.
So happy five months, Haysley Lynn. Your Mommy and Daddy do love you very much. We are so blessed to have you in our little family. It's getting hard to see what life would have been like without you. You are and will always be 'Our Little Early Bird'.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Vocab
So Avery's stared talking...correction, saying words, and it's awesome. I'm pretty sure she has a name for everything, I just don't know what it is yet. The running list includes: ball, duu (door), lala (flower), dog, mama, dada, baby, ba (barney), bebe (blanket), lithe (light), wah (wall), ees (cheese), rass (grass) and the best one, dough-dough (yogurt).
It's amazing how her mind works, in fact, I don't think it every stops. She learns and does new things daily. And I know I'm a typical mother when I say, 'I love her' at this age, but I LOVE HER AT THIS AGE. If I could freeze her growing at 19 months, I totally would.
She is so interested in every little thing; it's a new discovery for her. Take, for instance, an airplane! We hardly notice them anymore, but Avery watches every single one. And wants to make sure you see it too. To her, they are amazing :)
My heart hurts knowing she's growing up so quickly. But it makes me thankful about a year from now I'll have another one experiencing the samething things all over again.
It's amazing how her mind works, in fact, I don't think it every stops. She learns and does new things daily. And I know I'm a typical mother when I say, 'I love her' at this age, but I LOVE HER AT THIS AGE. If I could freeze her growing at 19 months, I totally would.
She is so interested in every little thing; it's a new discovery for her. Take, for instance, an airplane! We hardly notice them anymore, but Avery watches every single one. And wants to make sure you see it too. To her, they are amazing :)
My heart hurts knowing she's growing up so quickly. But it makes me thankful about a year from now I'll have another one experiencing the samething things all over again.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Chaos is my middle name
Ok, so two kids is a lot. Seiously. This is rediculous. What the crap. Why doesn't anyone warn you...or atleast tell you you're sudicial. Because really, how the heck do you juggle all this.
Let's back up a bit. On June 20th, Haysley finally came home after being in the hospital for 8 weeks, almost to the day. Taking into the account to two previous months of exhaustion, let's add a newborn to the mix, just to spice things up. Now, no more evening trips to Greenville, but instead, we have a screaming 'newborn' all day and night.
Now, one day I will look back on all this and pat myself on the back for surviving it all, but for now, I'm just surviving. Hence the last time I actually had time and felt motivated enough to sit in front of a keyboard to jot down a few of my thoughts...
Poor Avery. I love that kid more than life itself and I feel she's being neglected. People tell me at least she's so small still that she really won't remember this time...nor will she remember being an only child. Nope, from here on out she's a sister, and it's weird.
Ok, I guess that's it for now. See you in a month or two when I actually have time again.
Let's back up a bit. On June 20th, Haysley finally came home after being in the hospital for 8 weeks, almost to the day. Taking into the account to two previous months of exhaustion, let's add a newborn to the mix, just to spice things up. Now, no more evening trips to Greenville, but instead, we have a screaming 'newborn' all day and night.
Now, one day I will look back on all this and pat myself on the back for surviving it all, but for now, I'm just surviving. Hence the last time I actually had time and felt motivated enough to sit in front of a keyboard to jot down a few of my thoughts...
Poor Avery. I love that kid more than life itself and I feel she's being neglected. People tell me at least she's so small still that she really won't remember this time...nor will she remember being an only child. Nope, from here on out she's a sister, and it's weird.
Ok, I guess that's it for now. See you in a month or two when I actually have time again.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Annnnd BREAK! Down that is...
So, I was doing really well. Haysley had her minor set back of not being able to maintain her temp, and was put back in the isolette. They told me if would just be the weekend before she's be home, no big deal. Well, the weekend has come and gone my friends, and still no baby! Saturday was the hardest day. I came to visit and learned her temp hadn't moved in 18 hours and they didn't plan on it moving that night either.
In order for the bed to be dropped she needs to have a temp of 36.6 or higher for them to be happy. And, obviously, she's not doing that. I think the most frustrating thing...well, one of many...is that Haysley looks like a normal baby now. Weighing in at over 5lbs, she's become known as 'the little chunker' in the NICU, and she just looks like a perfect little newborn. She's passed every test they've hit her with and been fine. She's eating like a champ (all bottles)...but she's still there. And it's like everytime I visit, it becomes even harder to leave...
So, that's the update. I have two perfect little girls, 15 months apart. They just live 32 miles away from each other.
Come home soon, Haysley. Mommy misses you...
In order for the bed to be dropped she needs to have a temp of 36.6 or higher for them to be happy. And, obviously, she's not doing that. I think the most frustrating thing...well, one of many...is that Haysley looks like a normal baby now. Weighing in at over 5lbs, she's become known as 'the little chunker' in the NICU, and she just looks like a perfect little newborn. She's passed every test they've hit her with and been fine. She's eating like a champ (all bottles)...but she's still there. And it's like everytime I visit, it becomes even harder to leave...
So, that's the update. I have two perfect little girls, 15 months apart. They just live 32 miles away from each other.
Come home soon, Haysley. Mommy misses you...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Just Kidding
So, today, Tuesday, June 7th 2011 is to be the mark of Haysley's 6 week birthday...6 weeks in the NICU up in Greenville. Approximately 62 trips have been taken at an estimated $12 each time, and still no baby.
Those nurses began teasing us on Saturday with the hope of coming home early this week. Everything was going great. She was maintaining her body temp at 36.5C, she was eating 8 bottles a day (approx. 38mls), and she was just completely adorable.
Now, I'm not gonna lie, when you're scared to ask the question of when she could come home, and you finally do, and they tell you 4 days, a lot of emotions run through your head. First there is joy and happiness. You can't believe this day has finally come. Then there is reservation, as you try your very best not to have too much joy, as that may make it harder later in case it doesn't work out. And then, the third thing is panic. Holy Crap! We're not ready yet! I mean, you want your child home, but then once it's getting close things like the nursery, Mike's work, Avery, and sleep all start popping up.
You also do you best not to get too excited, and definitely try not to tell too many people, but it's really hard. I mean, we're going on 6 weeks of waiting, so for them to tell you yesterday that she would be discharged today in the late afternoon, you kinda get excited.
But Haysley had other plans. Around 2:00pm yesterday I got the call that Haysley was not doing well at maintaining her temperature out in the open crib. The poor nurse had tired everything, but despite her best efforts, Haysley's temp was still dropping. The doctor had just giving the orders to place her back in the isolette for the minimum of 2 days. Crap...
So, as of now we have been told it's a developmental thing and that Haysley may not be old enough yet to hang with the big girls. Awesome...so when does she 'develope'?! That's the ever pending question and we are now back to our waiting game.
Those nurses began teasing us on Saturday with the hope of coming home early this week. Everything was going great. She was maintaining her body temp at 36.5C, she was eating 8 bottles a day (approx. 38mls), and she was just completely adorable.
Now, I'm not gonna lie, when you're scared to ask the question of when she could come home, and you finally do, and they tell you 4 days, a lot of emotions run through your head. First there is joy and happiness. You can't believe this day has finally come. Then there is reservation, as you try your very best not to have too much joy, as that may make it harder later in case it doesn't work out. And then, the third thing is panic. Holy Crap! We're not ready yet! I mean, you want your child home, but then once it's getting close things like the nursery, Mike's work, Avery, and sleep all start popping up.
You also do you best not to get too excited, and definitely try not to tell too many people, but it's really hard. I mean, we're going on 6 weeks of waiting, so for them to tell you yesterday that she would be discharged today in the late afternoon, you kinda get excited.
But Haysley had other plans. Around 2:00pm yesterday I got the call that Haysley was not doing well at maintaining her temperature out in the open crib. The poor nurse had tired everything, but despite her best efforts, Haysley's temp was still dropping. The doctor had just giving the orders to place her back in the isolette for the minimum of 2 days. Crap...
So, as of now we have been told it's a developmental thing and that Haysley may not be old enough yet to hang with the big girls. Awesome...so when does she 'develope'?! That's the ever pending question and we are now back to our waiting game.
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